2) Self-Talk: your Super Power

1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:06,614
This is the podcast where we discover that talent alone isn't enough

2
00:00:06,662 --> 00:00:09,910
to succeed in sports. You might be surrounded by

3
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:14,126
talented athletes and coaches, but most of them are missing what

4
00:00:14,158 --> 00:00:18,078
could set them apart. The mental advantage. My mission here

5
00:00:18,134 --> 00:00:21,790
is to spark curiosity about. About what?

6
00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:26,118
About this hidden edge and start conversations

7
00:00:26,254 --> 00:00:30,804
encouraging you to go deeper, to move from discovery

8
00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:34,388
to practice to development and ultimately,

9
00:00:34,484 --> 00:00:37,892
evolution. Hello. Hello and welcome back to

10
00:00:37,916 --> 00:00:41,116
another episode of let's Go Mental. I'm your host,

11
00:00:41,228 --> 00:00:44,764
Barbara family and mental coach. In the last episode,

12
00:00:44,852 --> 00:00:48,444
we talked about self awareness. That is, the ability

13
00:00:48,572 --> 00:00:51,724
to notice and tune in to

14
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:55,768
how our actions, thoughts, or emotion show

15
00:00:55,824 --> 00:00:59,376
up in any situation in life. And we learn how

16
00:00:59,448 --> 00:01:02,368
it can be developed and trained.

17
00:01:02,544 --> 00:01:05,536
But self awareness doesn't stop here.

18
00:01:05,728 --> 00:01:09,336
It's the foundation and we will

19
00:01:09,408 --> 00:01:12,712
build on to explore another piece of

20
00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:16,552
the puzzle, the self talk. Do you remember? We are

21
00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:20,616
exploring the four selves that are

22
00:01:20,688 --> 00:01:24,082
self awareness, self talk, self control,

23
00:01:24,226 --> 00:01:27,930
and self confidence. Today, we will

24
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:31,586
dive into how the way we speak to

25
00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:35,706
ourselves can either lift us up or

26
00:01:35,858 --> 00:01:40,314
hold us back. But before this, the gentle reminder.

27
00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:43,722
I'm italian, so love my accent because I know you will.

28
00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:47,906
And embrace my mistakes because I know I will do many.

29
00:01:48,098 --> 00:01:51,458
So, let's start. What exactly is self

30
00:01:51,514 --> 00:01:54,942
talk? I'm sure that you might be thinking that only matters.

31
00:01:54,986 --> 00:01:58,934
People talk to themselves. But the truth is we are

32
00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:02,326
constantly talking to ourselves. Even if

33
00:02:02,358 --> 00:02:05,526
we don't realize it, whether we are aware it or

34
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:08,798
not, we are always having conversation

35
00:02:08,854 --> 00:02:12,342
in our heads. The real problem and the real question

36
00:02:12,406 --> 00:02:16,350
is, what kind of conversation are we having? This is

37
00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:20,078
the main topic and it's a major role

38
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,302
here in how we show up in life and perform

39
00:02:23,406 --> 00:02:27,286
in Spain, how we talk to ourselves. Because the

40
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:30,490
self talk is really, really powerful.

41
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:35,190
What it is, it's the talking to ourself, but it has

42
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:38,966
three elements, it directed or to ourselves.

43
00:02:39,038 --> 00:02:42,662
So yes, we are really talking to ourselves. And it can be

44
00:02:42,726 --> 00:02:45,370
loud or internally,

45
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:49,014
and it comes as a statement thing that we say

46
00:02:49,062 --> 00:02:52,330
to ourselves. Not all the self talk

47
00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:55,594
are equal. We have positive self

48
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:59,402
talk that are the one that inspires and

49
00:02:59,506 --> 00:03:03,450
motivates us. It might sound like, I've got this,

50
00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:07,482
I'm getting better every day. I can achieve this.

51
00:03:07,666 --> 00:03:11,590
I am focused or something very negative,

52
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:15,210
like, I'm terrible at this.

53
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:18,434
I am not good enough. The others are always

54
00:03:18,522 --> 00:03:22,182
better than me. And this can be very discouraging.

55
00:03:22,346 --> 00:03:26,366
Or there are the neutral self talk. This is more the instructional

56
00:03:26,438 --> 00:03:30,502
one. When we talk ourselves about providing guidance or we

57
00:03:30,566 --> 00:03:34,574
instruct ourselves during our talk, the self talk

58
00:03:34,702 --> 00:03:38,342
shapes how we see the world and

59
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:41,690
how we see ourselves in the world.

60
00:03:41,990 --> 00:03:45,078
And the positive inspire us and move us forward,

61
00:03:45,214 --> 00:03:49,302
while the negative creates barriers, obstacles and

62
00:03:49,366 --> 00:03:53,060
challenges. The seftoc is really powerful

63
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,896
and we are very powerful. We can use it as a tool

64
00:03:58,048 --> 00:04:01,456
for growth. It just can be a habit that

65
00:04:01,488 --> 00:04:04,936
will hold us back. But sometimes

66
00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:08,300
we just think that it's normal and we don't recognize

67
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,088
the positive, the negative, everything is mixed up.

68
00:04:12,224 --> 00:04:16,136
Or maybe we even don't think that we are talking to ourselves.

69
00:04:16,208 --> 00:04:18,500
It's like we are used to it.

70
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:23,364
We have to start to be aware that there is

71
00:04:23,412 --> 00:04:27,436
something going on in our brain all the time, and it's

72
00:04:27,628 --> 00:04:30,836
us talking to us. Could be very funny,

73
00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:34,240
right? But if you start

74
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:39,240
to think of what you say to yourself,

75
00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:43,732
you can really change your point of

76
00:04:43,756 --> 00:04:49,656
view and your way of being and your way of getting

77
00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:53,432
into the world. It's like a kind of secret that if you have it,

78
00:04:53,536 --> 00:04:56,940
you will really start level up.

79
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,648
It's difficult here. I know I'm not talking about something that is

80
00:05:01,824 --> 00:05:05,912
easy or normal. Next time

81
00:05:05,936 --> 00:05:09,192
that you catch yourself engaging, because this

82
00:05:09,216 --> 00:05:13,150
is the worst. It's not only that we talk to ourselves, we talk

83
00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:16,614
and we respond to ourselves. So we engage with our self

84
00:05:16,662 --> 00:05:20,370
talk. So next time, just pause

85
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:24,518
and understand if what you are

86
00:05:24,614 --> 00:05:28,730
telling to yourself is positive or negative.

87
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:32,130
If it is positive, embrace it. Smile.

88
00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:34,810
Go. If it is negative,

89
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:39,110
stop and don't go deep

90
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:42,974
into the negative part and replace

91
00:05:43,022 --> 00:05:46,334
it with something positive. It's kind of weird. I know I'm not

92
00:05:46,382 --> 00:05:50,286
saying something that is linear here, but you need

93
00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:54,366
to understand what you are telling to yourself.

94
00:05:54,558 --> 00:05:58,330
So if you are thinking, I'm terrible at this,

95
00:05:58,790 --> 00:06:02,410
try to say, I'm still learning.

96
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:06,790
I'm not getting there yet.

97
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,986
So use a positive attitude. Towards what?

98
00:06:11,098 --> 00:06:14,802
What is your negative self talk? You need to

99
00:06:14,826 --> 00:06:18,826
be self aware about your self talk.

100
00:06:19,018 --> 00:06:22,706
And it's easy to feel that you are far from having it

101
00:06:22,738 --> 00:06:26,354
all figured out. And it

102
00:06:26,442 --> 00:06:30,242
seems like a lot of work, but it is a step by

103
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:34,154
step process. Why should you pay attention to all these

104
00:06:34,202 --> 00:06:37,664
things when it seems that everyone else is okay?

105
00:06:37,752 --> 00:06:41,824
Strong, positive. It's not only you that have the self

106
00:06:41,872 --> 00:06:45,200
talk, let me tell you. Those who seem

107
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,620
to have it all together,

108
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,296
they are struggling like you are. They have the same conversation

109
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:56,568
in their mind, and maybe they

110
00:06:56,744 --> 00:07:00,320
naturally turn it into positive. Maybe they even

111
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,164
don't know what's going on in their brain. But you have

112
00:07:04,212 --> 00:07:07,732
the secret. This is the difference. Now you know you are aware and you can

113
00:07:07,796 --> 00:07:11,780
change the pattern in your brain developing these

114
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:15,404
skills takes time and commitment. And the

115
00:07:15,452 --> 00:07:18,924
one who truly understand the importance and

116
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,480
who consistently shift

117
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:26,372
the negative into the positive, they will

118
00:07:26,436 --> 00:07:29,844
get through and they will grow and they will develop skills

119
00:07:29,892 --> 00:07:33,896
that are not only for your sport, but for your life.

120
00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:37,632
A little tool to reflect on after this episode

121
00:07:37,776 --> 00:07:41,504
for the next practice. For example, if you are going to practice today

122
00:07:41,672 --> 00:07:45,008
or if you have a challenging moment, you have a test.

123
00:07:45,184 --> 00:07:48,168
Pay attention on how you talk to yourself.

124
00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:52,760
Don't do anything else. Pay attention and afterwards write

125
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,940
down what you remember, especially if it is negative,

126
00:07:56,450 --> 00:08:00,226
and then replace those negative thoughts with positive

127
00:08:00,298 --> 00:08:04,470
ones. If you're feeling bold, very bold,

128
00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:08,818
try to say them out loud and observe the difference

129
00:08:08,874 --> 00:08:11,882
that it makes in your brain.

130
00:08:11,986 --> 00:08:15,866
Another tip here. Let's reframe this exercise and

131
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:19,906
try to transform the negative into the positive

132
00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:23,636
like you are talking to yourself as you are

133
00:08:23,668 --> 00:08:27,268
talking to a friend or to a teammate because it's easier

134
00:08:27,404 --> 00:08:29,900
to talk positively, positively.

135
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:33,660
Sorry, with a friend, you are always trying to

136
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:37,356
encourage a friend. Try to do it with yourself and

137
00:08:37,388 --> 00:08:41,164
you will see and you will observe the difference.

138
00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:45,116
This is the tool for today.

139
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:49,182
Next week we will discover another self.

140
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:52,958
So that's it for today. Thank you very

141
00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:56,390
much for joining me. Don't forget to check out the

142
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:59,490
show notes for the free tools and the link to our

143
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:02,530
past episodes together.

144
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,886
Thank you so much for listening. Hope you enjoyed

145
00:09:07,918 --> 00:09:11,614
this episode and you consider sharing, leaving a review and

146
00:09:11,662 --> 00:09:15,556
subscribing to ensure you don't miss a anything. A special

147
00:09:15,628 --> 00:09:19,052
reminder, you are my co editor. Without your input,

148
00:09:19,116 --> 00:09:21,964
the podcast would miss a significant part.

149
00:09:22,132 --> 00:09:25,908
Ask questions, explain your challenges and doubts by

150
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:29,836
filling out the form that you find in the show notes. In this way

151
00:09:29,908 --> 00:09:33,540
youll help me shape the podcast and get your struggle

152
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:37,508
solved. Until next time, embrace the challenges,

153
00:09:37,604 --> 00:09:41,340
conquer the doubts, and always remember lets comment together.